WHY YOU DATED FOR YEARS BUT DIDN'T END UP TOGETHER

Yesterday, I caught myself talking to myself in the warm freezing weather; cruising from mind to brain. I consider  my factory of thought the most intriguing moment of my life that I never want to stop thinking. Sleeping all night was like the sun travelling to a distant  land that cost so much to return. It took years upon years before the sun finally appeared. It shined bright  like never before - oh! what an amazing Wednesday!

Walking  speedily to get a pair of slippers, a young man followed me in the same direction -- walking even faster to catch up with me. Thank God it was broad daylight else I feared for my life. After so many "hiiiiiiiii" and "helloooooo" coupled with an already cracked voice, I decided to give in to the "hiiiiiii" man.

We spoke for a couple of hours and then off I went to clean up the dishes.

After a long splendid day, my phone rang and at  the other end was the young man with the cracked voice.  He almost soaked my phone in tears as his voice sounded like a raging thunder.
After some time the casual friendship turned into an extraordinary one which  continued until that  fateful day when we came to realise we were just together for a reason --- There was something we needed to teach and learn  from each other  and we seemed to be the perfect persons for the job.
We were going to be cool and perfect as " just friends" but we were going to be worse if we ever got married.

Some relationships were just meant to help us become better. Research has it that love changes one to a large extent...it makes you different! It changes some nasty behaviours about you and gets you well equipped, so when the right one comes you wouldn't have to struggle to be with him.
So most times we get hooked up to get something out of it - not as if that is where we are meant to be.

Note : Those relationships that failed should be a lesson to you. There should be  something for you to learn from. Don't get into a new relationship being just  the same person you've always being and most importantly be careful not to repeat the mistakes of your former relationship in the new one, else you may end up never being happy with anyone.

Everything in life happens for a reason, either good or bad. But most times, the negative things that go on in our lives are usually for good. It is that  feeling that brings you to  great height.

It is certain that not all  relationships end in marriage but then do not leave in anger no matter how hurt you feel. Anything can happen at anytime and you can't be sure of what it is.

Often times, we end up with the wrong person because even when we saw the signs coming, we decided to ignore it  and kept forcing the relationship to work by all means probably to avoid what people might say or think.
Relationships are about two people not about  the attention two people can get by making others jealous or happy.

If at some point in your relationship you get a strong feeling that tells you "you need to leave"  then you just need to leave no matter how long you must have been with each other --- though It could be  quite  challenging, especially when you  already fixed your mind on him or her as your future spouse and you wake up one morning to rephrase it to "just a casual friend"
Relationships can be complicated and difficult. But few people know that there are some  pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work or not.

Someone may want to ask - what if I love someone but he/she doesn't feel the same?
The truth is - If you truly come to meet your better half, there is always a clear difference with  a strong instinct. There is this deep conviction you both feel for each other. So if you're deeply in love with  someone  but he/she doesn't reciprocate that love, then you're with the wrong person. True love is not one sided.

I have come to realise that meeting a girl today, and dating her in a week time is not  ideal. I advice  you go through the friendship method. Be friends for at least a minimum of 6months before you think of dating in order to help you avoid random dates.
If you go through the friendship method -- i mean true and genuine friendship involving zero romance, you'll realise that there are some persons you shouldn't have dated at first.
However, during the  period of genuine friendship you begin to examine the person --knowing if he is  truly what you need, if you're both compatible, if there are  attitudes you can't tolerate, if she's a totally different person from who you are, if his religious beliefs are different from yours... Etc.

If after proper scrutiny, you feel that your significant other has it all and that he reciprocates  your love then go ahead and call it a date. But if not, it may just have to continue in friendship...and that saves you the cost of hopping from one man/woman  to another.

So I'll advice that Instead of concentrating on romance, try to be more focused on friendship. it is  the foundation on which the best   relationships grow and the secret to a long lasting relationship.

Although It's so great to find one special person you want to commit  the rest of your life to, but it's also not  about how long we've dated or how much we've shared in common -- its about  genuine  intimacy and compatibility.

That you dated him/her for 6years doesn't make him your better half, that he bought you lots of goodies doesn't also make him the right man for you or the fact that she cooks for you,washes your clothes, supports you financially, buy you gifts and takes care of you when your sick doesn't mean you're meant to be. Its just those things we ought  to do when we are in love.  It is  like a duty you owe your  partner. So don't get freaked out with the gifts and care.

 Don't  look at things from the surface but  from beyond and be careful not to be carried away by the fantasies of love.

It's safe and better to make all the mistakes, crack all the jokes and have all the fun while dating rather than in marriage.

So do not limit yourself. Go ahead and meet people. Mingle with them and date them if need be. It would help you have a larger experience about marriage and reduce the risk of divorce.

Be sure to be on  your best behavior with whom ever you meet. You may not know what tomorrow has in stock for you.