Talking of self control, Mastering yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but the man who has himself in his own power is the most powerful man. Self discipline is the most challenging skill we all want to achieve.
Thus, there are three types of self control usually associated with adults, which can be used in different circumstances depending upon the dimensions of the situation.
1. Mental self control - This is concerned with lack of proper thinking or reasoning (unable to understand another person's point of view)
2. Physical self control - A deficiency in this type of self control can cause you to make others your punch bag when infuriated.
3. Emotional self control - This is concerned with the inability to regulate one's behaviour in the face of temptations and impulses.
Learning to control oneself especially when it comes to dealing with emotions of anger and depression is not often easy. Sometimes you're pushed to the wall and want to react but your ability to discipline yourself is the first step to achieving any goal. Its all about ruling yourself, subduing your passions and commanding yourself.
If you think you just want to wake up one morning to say "I have self control"...then it won't work, because self control comes with great commitment to one's actions and words - telling yourself " I won't say a word no matter how much am insulted".
Self control entails continuous training of the mind. Often times our inability to control our emotions stems from a lack of self regulation which negatively affects our relationship with others, both at work and wherever and makes others unable to trust our actions.
So here are 6 ways to mastering self control:
1: Write down the behaviour(s) you need to control - it may be difficult to work on all your behaviours at the same, so you can take them one after the other starting from the major one. Be sure to be realistic and honest to yourself while doing this.
2: Self -regulation - that is, being able to reduce the frequency and intensity of strong impulses. In fact, self -regulation is what makes self -control possible.
3: Learn to direct your thoughts properly, for those having issues of mental self control by not assuming you know the other persons intentions or perceive others as being unable to understand you. However you react to another mans statement or action is solely the decision of your mind. You're your own enemy! And you're your own friend! YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOUR MIND - YOUR WAY OF THINKING!
4: Whenever you feel upset and think you should react violently, try leaving that spot the drama is ongoing; possibly, move outside to where you can see people. Try making a phone call to a loved one or to some funny friend. Watch your favorite TV show or any movie on your phone. Talk to yourself...say to yourself all the rude things you wanted to say to the other person.
Switch off your phone and then take a deep sleep and most importantly, channel that burning anger to something productive. Say to yourself " instead of doing something that would help me become better, am here getting angry over someone else's stupidity". Then ask yourself " I said I want to control my emotions right, so why do I want to let this 5 minutes misunderstanding destroy what I've spent time to build up?"
5: Be committed to reading books that would help you develop self control, especially books on emotional intelligence.
6: Most importantly, be committed to achieving your goal. Because if you aren't committed to changing those behaviours, then be sure to remain that way no matter how much your scolded, listen to motivational speakers or even read books. Remember - changing habits takes time, and building self control takes effort.
If you lack the ability to control your emotions then you will be controlled by others - your words and action will be determined by someone else.
When you rule yourself, you rule your character. So the harder you try to develop self discipline, the prettier your attitude will become.
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