WHY YOU DATED FOR YEARS BUT DIDN'T END UP TOGETHER

Yesterday, I caught myself talking to myself in the warm freezing weather; cruising from mind to brain. I consider  my factory of thought the most intriguing moment of my life that I never want to stop thinking. Sleeping all night was like the sun travelling to a distant  land that cost so much to return. It took years upon years before the sun finally appeared. It shined bright  like never before - oh! what an amazing Wednesday!

Walking  speedily to get a pair of slippers, a young man followed me in the same direction -- walking even faster to catch up with me. Thank God it was broad daylight else I feared for my life. After so many "hiiiiiiiii" and "helloooooo" coupled with an already cracked voice, I decided to give in to the "hiiiiiii" man.

We spoke for a couple of hours and then off I went to clean up the dishes.

After a long splendid day, my phone rang and at  the other end was the young man with the cracked voice.  He almost soaked my phone in tears as his voice sounded like a raging thunder.
After some time the casual friendship turned into an extraordinary one which  continued until that  fateful day when we came to realise we were just together for a reason --- There was something we needed to teach and learn  from each other  and we seemed to be the perfect persons for the job.
We were going to be cool and perfect as " just friends" but we were going to be worse if we ever got married.

Some relationships were just meant to help us become better. Research has it that love changes one to a large extent...it makes you different! It changes some nasty behaviours about you and gets you well equipped, so when the right one comes you wouldn't have to struggle to be with him.
So most times we get hooked up to get something out of it - not as if that is where we are meant to be.

Note : Those relationships that failed should be a lesson to you. There should be  something for you to learn from. Don't get into a new relationship being just  the same person you've always being and most importantly be careful not to repeat the mistakes of your former relationship in the new one, else you may end up never being happy with anyone.

Everything in life happens for a reason, either good or bad. But most times, the negative things that go on in our lives are usually for good. It is that  feeling that brings you to  great height.

It is certain that not all  relationships end in marriage but then do not leave in anger no matter how hurt you feel. Anything can happen at anytime and you can't be sure of what it is.

Often times, we end up with the wrong person because even when we saw the signs coming, we decided to ignore it  and kept forcing the relationship to work by all means probably to avoid what people might say or think.
Relationships are about two people not about  the attention two people can get by making others jealous or happy.

If at some point in your relationship you get a strong feeling that tells you "you need to leave"  then you just need to leave no matter how long you must have been with each other --- though It could be  quite  challenging, especially when you  already fixed your mind on him or her as your future spouse and you wake up one morning to rephrase it to "just a casual friend"
Relationships can be complicated and difficult. But few people know that there are some  pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work or not.

Someone may want to ask - what if I love someone but he/she doesn't feel the same?
The truth is - If you truly come to meet your better half, there is always a clear difference with  a strong instinct. There is this deep conviction you both feel for each other. So if you're deeply in love with  someone  but he/she doesn't reciprocate that love, then you're with the wrong person. True love is not one sided.

I have come to realise that meeting a girl today, and dating her in a week time is not  ideal. I advice  you go through the friendship method. Be friends for at least a minimum of 6months before you think of dating in order to help you avoid random dates.
If you go through the friendship method -- i mean true and genuine friendship involving zero romance, you'll realise that there are some persons you shouldn't have dated at first.
However, during the  period of genuine friendship you begin to examine the person --knowing if he is  truly what you need, if you're both compatible, if there are  attitudes you can't tolerate, if she's a totally different person from who you are, if his religious beliefs are different from yours... Etc.

If after proper scrutiny, you feel that your significant other has it all and that he reciprocates  your love then go ahead and call it a date. But if not, it may just have to continue in friendship...and that saves you the cost of hopping from one man/woman  to another.

So I'll advice that Instead of concentrating on romance, try to be more focused on friendship. it is  the foundation on which the best   relationships grow and the secret to a long lasting relationship.

Although It's so great to find one special person you want to commit  the rest of your life to, but it's also not  about how long we've dated or how much we've shared in common -- its about  genuine  intimacy and compatibility.

That you dated him/her for 6years doesn't make him your better half, that he bought you lots of goodies doesn't also make him the right man for you or the fact that she cooks for you,washes your clothes, supports you financially, buy you gifts and takes care of you when your sick doesn't mean you're meant to be. Its just those things we ought  to do when we are in love.  It is  like a duty you owe your  partner. So don't get freaked out with the gifts and care.

 Don't  look at things from the surface but  from beyond and be careful not to be carried away by the fantasies of love.

It's safe and better to make all the mistakes, crack all the jokes and have all the fun while dating rather than in marriage.

So do not limit yourself. Go ahead and meet people. Mingle with them and date them if need be. It would help you have a larger experience about marriage and reduce the risk of divorce.

Be sure to be on  your best behavior with whom ever you meet. You may not know what tomorrow has in stock for you.

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THE HIDDEN TRUTH BEHIND ROMANCE

I sat all day in the shade trying to figure out what the most beautiful creature is. At first  I was confused, but after much thinking, I came to discover that it's women. Women make the world colourful. But it's very unfortunate that most women don't even realize how beautiful they are neither do they see the hidden power in them.

You know in those days it was believed that women belong to the kitchen. They were seen as core house wives. The only duty they performed as wife and mother was to clean the house, wash the plates, take the children to school, cook food and sometimes chip in little  ideas to her husband on family matters.

Like I always say ... We now live in an advanced  world where gender equality is no more a taboo.

The life of marriage back then is not the same as today. The way your husband addressed you in those days when you were jobless and always sitting at home is far different from the way he would address you now.

A woman shouldn't be a liability to her husband but a supporter. Off course it's his duty to provide for the family as well as your duty to support him, especially financially --- being fully aware of the so
much expenses that awaits your home.


Don't hope on your hubby to take care of you as well as your family, especially when your coming from an average or poor home where you have younger ones that still needs to be cared for, including your parents.

 Don't get it twisted! I am not saying the man shouldn't take charge of his responsibilities.  Of course he should buy your mum/siblings  some little stuffs from time to time but it shouldn't be like a  slave job imposed on him, rather It should be something he willingly accepts to do at his own time.    

So for this reason, you shouldn't just sit at home everyday watching telemundo or zee world, cook, bath - wear a sexy short nikar,  makeup and then wait  for  your "darling husband" the "Sacrificial lamb" to bring you money for your up keep and the rest. 

It is uncalled for to be lazy as a woman. 

In fact there are things you shouldn't even ask your husband for - like... Money for undies, makeups, clothing, hair do... Etc. 

Do something. Get busy!  No matter how little...just be sure your hands are busy with something. Don't let anyone make you feel inferior and don't limit yourself to what you think you can do. Just know that you can achieve whatever you set out your mind to do. It's all about determination and focus. 

Sometimes we hear stories like.... A certain man's business collapsed few years ago and up to now he has  not been able to stand to his feet. That's because his wife was just busy visiting friends day in day out and sleeping from couch to foam.  Now come to think of it... If his wife was working or trading as at then,would he fall? Off course No! And even if he falls, he will certainly rise in no time because he hasn't fallen completely.

What your hubby thinks of you determines to a large extent the way you'll be addressed. If he sees you as a lazy woman who can't fend for herself without him, he will definitely treat you that way. But if he sees you as a woman who can fend for herself without minding his wallet, he will respect and honor you. 

 Don't give any man the impression that you're just one dumb-ass who has no vision and focus for life. Rather, make him see you as a gallant woman to whom he can entrust  his properties ---- knowing you'll manage it even far better than himself. 

. 

Again, don't take part in hunting for a rich man to marry or date. But be a woman of substance who does her things herself -- an independent woman. So that when a man comes,  he will realize it's not the money you need but his love, loyalty, commitment, care and fidelity. In fact It would open up your eyes in making a  choice for a life partner .

Don't be in a rush to jump into your husband's house with just a certificate - a thick colourful paper  per say. Be patient and plan yourself properly. Be sure you're fully prepared mentally. Have something doing...maybe a skill or a good job that earns you something monthly. 

The bitter truth we don't want to hear is-- marriage without the wherewithal to sustain it can be extremely difficult and tiresome.

After your 1st and probably 2nd issue, you will realise that there is more to sustaining a marriage/relationship  than just romance.  A real woman avoids drama. 

Always work hard to be the best you can be and don't let anybody do for you what you can do for yourself; because if you do, you'll  owe him a favor and you wouldn't want to owe anyone.

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THE LADDER BEFORE MARRIAGE

It all started on a hot Sunday morning when Frances slumped and was rushed to the hospital. She was examined but the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her, that she was fine. Her blood pressure was cool and that she only needed to rest. 

Deep within Frances she knew in her heart of hearts that she had no internal peace. She knew she was passing through a hard time which no one felt but her. She was aware of the fact that she needed to leave but the problem was "how do I leave?"

Marriage is and will always remain the most precious but challenging gift to humanity. It's a choice you make -- not just on your wedding day, but over and over again.  It's something you'll enjoy for a life time if you let loose your mind to tell yourself the truth as well as something you'll regret for a life time if you choose to lie to yourself.

We are usually more interested in the wedding attire -- The colourful suit and flowing gown, the wonderful ashebi looks, the crowd to cheer you up, the amazing cake to cut with everyone shouting "J-E-S-U-S....Jesussssss" as the per knife goes down the throat of the cake, the money spraying, the "congratulation"compliments and for the ladies, the sparkling wedding ring and constant flaunting of your hands.... Until after the wedding night.

At this juncture, it now dawns on you that you are married; not  a relationship where you opt  in and out any day and any time you wish.
Right now you both are still glued to calling each other "honey pie" and "baby".

Flash forward to 3 months after the marriage. The woman is now seeing attitudes she didn't see while courting and the man is also seeing attitudes he thought she had dropped while courting. 

Gradually your beginning to have slight quarrels and misunderstanding every now and then. Slowly it begins to bore you whenever you remember your done with work and need to go home to your honey pie/baby.

After a little while the "inside house" misunderstanding now turns to be an "open" quarrel because at this point you both can no longer settle things within yourselves, and in no little time,the man terms his baby "a nagging woman" and the woman terms her honey pie " a cheat and quarrelsome man"

This continues to linger to a point where love, intimacy and friendship no longer exist between them. They begin to feel like strangers around each other.

THE GREAT QUESTION IS: HOW DID IT START AND WHOM DO YOU BLAME? THE HONEY PIE OR THE BABY?

One thing is getting married in a hurry and another thing is pushing out of it in a hurry!

For the singles who are yet to be married, listen up! Marriage is not as sweet as you see it physically. It is a great self experience that most times never end till death. Often times you see couples and your like...'oh my God! This two are sweet together, they look so pretty... mehn! Am in love with this couple...in fact I can't wait to get married"
Off course you can't wait because you think it's sweet and delicious??? 

It's true that there is no marriage without a cross, but don't bite off more than you can chew.
In as much there are sweet and loving marriages, they still have a dark side. But the only reason they still seem fabulous together after all said and done is " COMPATIBILITY"

The word "compatibility" here refers to the ability of two DISTINCT  persons to exist or live together without conflict.
  We keep claiming to be madly in love with a person. But then what is love without compatibility???

Don't ever ever hope to change your partner for the future but you may accept to tolerate some habits knowing no one was created perfect.

Compatibility between couples relate to every aspect of their lives. That is to say you must agree spiritually, physically and mentally.
He/she should believe in what you believe. Not when you are a stunt Christian and his just a shallow Christian who dislikes anything about church or seeing smoking and keeping late nights as immoral while to him its nothing.
If you are a staunch Christian,he should also be the same. If you think smoking is immoral,he should also think the same way.

Trust me!  It could be quite dangerous having a wife/husband that hates the very thing you like and likes the very thing you hate. The one thing you shouldn't try to compromise in your choice of a life partner is your "likes and dislikes" because that's where your happiness/sadness lies.
   So being married to a man or woman who's a totally different person from yourself could be extremely challenging because you would have to quarrel and misquote yourselves every now and then. It wouldn't be easy at all.

Don't ever try to push a relationship so hard; trying to make it work by all means when you know in the deepest part of your heart that it's not just flowing.

For a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. There must be a genuine liking for each other which is "friendship" - the foundation of a happy marriage.
Remember--- it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

To the single and searching,  please stop choosing a life partner on the basis of the so called feeling of "love".  Start using your instinct(spiritual voice)  to make choices of a life partner--- the secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person.
Don't marry a person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Young men -- Prepare yourself financially before committing to marriage because I realise that finance is another major problem in marriages. Be sure that you can comfortably provide for yourself first before bringing in a woman to live with you. Be sure to have decided on how to allocate your earnings with your wife, mum and siblings so that you don't have problems catering for each of them.

In the end, pray earnestly and commit your partner to God. Often times we think we made the perfect choice, unknowing to us that he/she isn't our better half and then end up having miserable days on earth.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship or communion than a good marriage.

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LETTER TO THE YOUNG ONE

Dear young one, am writing you this because I want you to be the best of whatever you are and the light that shines out of darkness.

Growing up was never an easy task. So many temptation and obstacles here and there. Most times we end up doing the very things we said we'll never do.
We all look up to strong, independent men and women, but how do we become one ourselves?

The major problem of the younger ones is that they are more concerned about being popular and fashion conscious than developing themselves internally. They think it's all about knowing everybody and everybody knowing them.
  
Now I want to let you know that those things don't count. If you are morally upright and have quality service to offer...the world will locate you! 

Don't ever say"its my life, so I decide what I do with it"
It's not your life! It is the life given to you by someone which is God, and you don't decide what you do with your life. It's Him who decides for you, who tells you what to do and what not to do.

 In the first place if you acknowledge the fact that someone wakes you up in the morning...giving you an opportunity to see another  day, then you'll realise that, that same Person has assigned a purpose to you which you must  fulfill.

Sometimes I am forced to ask if admission into the University is now a license to prostitution, arm robbery, sex addiction, lesbianism, homosexuality,triple dating, flirting, name it.....
It's  ridiculous how our institution of higher learning has turned into a dumping ground for all manner of immorality.
    While at home, in your father's house, you don't do all that. But the minute your admitted into the University you turn into  runs girls and runs boys.

In those days,sleeping around was as a result of poverty; those whose parents lacked the wherewithal to train and sustain them in school. But now, even the daughters of ministers are runs girls all in the name of "Big girl"

Young girls!  Where did our medulla oblongata wander off to?  Where did the attitude of a real African girl crawl to? Why have we lost our sense of dignity and honor? Why have we chosen to behave like animals?

For goodness sake! The most important professional asset you have as a woman is your reputation. There is nothing more important than being a magnificent woman.
   You don't have to be a slay mama or runs girl nor date every guy in campus to be popular. You can be the most intelligent student and be popular.  You can be the best singer and be popular. You can also have the best moral attitude and be popular. 

Stop thinking you can do whatever you wish with your life because the world is watching you and some day you will be addressed by it.

For the naive future stars of tomorrow that are less concerned with their public actions ... You post half naked pictures of yourself on social media platforms, upload a  selfie on a table of drinks and cigarettes, take pictures of yourself in the club and a guy holding your waist and Boob's all over Facebook, Instagram and other social networks. You think that's where it ends right?

We live in the midst of the greatest technological revolution of all time. The world is moving faster than ever. In the next few years,your social media account and public actions will speak for you in  places of honor and recognition. Your history may have to be streamlined before your offered a great position in the world.

As a player in the game of life,you need to prepare and position yourself for what's coming. Prepare yourself for opportunities so that you can take advantage of them when they come. But there is one important characteristic of preparation that you must understand -- it takes time.
Bigger opportunities require bigger preparation. That's why it's important that you prepare yourself for future opportunities early. Don't wait until they come before you start preparing for them.  It would have been too late by then.

A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman. In whatever you do be different. If you are different you'll stand out. Don't trade yourself for nothing more than dollars.

For younger girls, especially the high school leavers, start now to build your self worth and self confidence. This is the right time to market your potentials. Age is not a barrier. Discover who you are and start doing something with it. There is no limit to what you can achieve. The sky is your limit.

And to adults who have tampered with their time, it's never too late. 
Don't be afraid to start Over because you learn more from failure than from success. Forget your past and start doing what you want to do now.
All you need is the courage to pursue it.

I love to see young people especially,women,take charge of
their lives responsibly.
One thing is sure --- that the road to integrity and virtue is difficult and usually tiresome,but never give up! Some day you will be rewarded immensely.
"MORAL"  is our WATCH WORD!

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WHY ENROLL FOR 4 YEARS OF WASTE, SHAME AND SORROW

Over 30,000 teenagers leave secondary school yearly with the hope of bouncing into the University the following year and every year, jamb has over 1,000000 registered candidates of various courses.

It is true that at this stage of life, teenagers are usually faced with the problem of choice.
Many of them come out of secondary school with a naive mind; not being exposed to experiences as regards where they are heading to, so they choose courses that suit their parents and peer groups and in most cases a course they feel is "professional" to the ears...like saying ---am studying law, medicine, engineering,accounting....etc

No course is unprofessional! Even Educational courses are professional courses. It is you who makes it enviable and worth studying in your own way.
It is the manner at which you approach a course that makes it either professional or not.

Have you wondered why most students,especially from 2 -3 hundred level usually become tired of lectures and reading and quickly begin to wish they are graduates; being so carefree about their result ----whether it's 1st class,2nd class or 3rd class.

In your first year,  you will be extremely happy and very energetic for lectures; studying hard to make the best grade...being so dedicated and committed to your studies.

200level first semester you are gradually hating the stress of learning and at 2nd semester your tired of reading..lecture begins to bore you...you only read when it's exam time.

Finally in 300level... You can't wait to be done with school because at this point your no longer bothered about what grade you come out with...even if it's a 3rd class...it doesn't matter! What matters is that your out! What life holds for you after then is not important! And that's how you end up achieving nothing after 4-5 years of paying school fees, buying textbooks, buying handouts and other financial expenses.

The day you get that jamb form and fill in a course that does not tally with your passion, that is day you enroll for 4 years of waste,shame and sorrow.

 Let your course of study be in line with your Gift.

Stop wasting time and energy on courses that do not tally with your Gift.
Enthusiasm can help you find the new doors but it takes passion to open them.

Everyone has a passion which relates to his/her  gift! There must be a skill your good at doing naturally and that you derive joy from doing it without being paid. So enrolling for a course that tallies with that passion of yours will help you develop that skill to a more professional level,thereby,preparing  you financially for life after school.

I think understanding education as the act of acquiring particular knowledge(ie skill) and preparing oneself intellectually for mature life will help you make the right decision in your  course of study.

Stop filling form for medicine when your gift is singing...or applying for Engineering when you are a born writer just because you want people to say your studying a professional course.

At this point you wouldn't know what your doing to yourself until you graduate and start hunting for jobs like there's no tomorrow.
If your Gift is dancing, why not apply for theater art... Or if you have passion for singing, why not apply for music?

You may want to ask"what if I apply for my dream course but in return get admitted to another course?
    The truth is ---many young scholars do not work hard enough to win. Most times they don't even get the appropriate score required for the course and other times, they are not conscious of what they want. 

You have the power to draw to yourself whatever you wish because everything you seek  is in existence. All you need to do is put your mind consistently to it, work hard and you will get it.

Don't shy away from hard things. Instead train yourself to become a person that can endure difficulties. NO STRAIN NO GAIN!

During your 4 years of schooling,your strength will fail you,but what will give you the courage and inspiration to keep moving on is your passion ---it will sustain you in the long run!

It is that burning desire that makes you still hold on to attaining a First Class degree even when your hit by stumbling blocks like not being able to pay your fees,lecturer harassment, missing script, bad result... etc.

We may not always have the opportunity  to correct our mistakes,so  hold on tightly to every opportunity and use it wisely ---you may not know when the dawn will come. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.

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MEN'S PHYSICAL ABUSE ON WIFE /GIRLFRIEND

The alarming rate at which women are bruised in marriage and relationship is really becoming outrageous and uncalled for.
Why has marriage and relationship lost its value in the society? Where did that value creep to? Who made it unvalued? Off course it's you and I!

Most times it appears that people do not even understand that marriage is a sacred vow with God. It's not just a relationship between a man and his wife, but a relationship with God too.
    On the day you stood on that Altar you made a promise to God your creator with the Minister of God representing Him in human form. You made promises to God on that day.... So whatever you do in your marriage,its God you do it to.

Funny enough,most of the things you bruise them for are the things you've also done to them in one way or the other.
Yes! -----you caught her cheating...now let me ask you.. If your conscience should judge you rightly, do you not also cheat on her? Or is it because she hasn't found out? Or because you  do yours in a slimy way?

Have you imagined a man hitting your sister right before you? No matter what she might have done.. Would you allow him bruise her?
So why do it to someone else's sister and daughter?
Come to think of it this way... That your the one she is bruising that way, how would you feel?

I realise that most times,battering is caused by a man's selfish desire and insecurity. Most men who bruise women were usually raised in a home of domestic violence or  either  grew up with an uncle who hits his wife.

To the men in question, you think you love your wife /girlfriend so much and that's why you hit her right?
And to the women being bruised,you think he loves you more than anyone else on planet earth and at some point you begin to even blame yourself,thinking it's all your fault and that your the cause of the bruises . But No! Your not!  It's just who your husband/boyfriend is!

Hitting  a woman is a sign of false and deceptive love.  You truly do not love her!  If you do, you would adore her precious body. If you really feel something deep and true for her,you wouldn't raise a finger at her because you won't be able to stand her tears or abusive her verbally...calling her names and comparing her to an Ex or other existing girlfriends; telling her to her face that they are better than her or that you want her to be like them.  

LOVE SAYS"YOU MUST APPRECIATE YOUR PARTNER THE WAY SHE IS" That is the root of a sincere love!

To the men in question,you think it all ends in apologizing; probably going on your knees or even crying begging for forgiveness and promising never to hit her again... No!  It doesn't end there! There are lot more to it.
       What about the internal abuse?The demoralizing and demeaning? Do you realise how long it takes to forget all that and act like it never happened?
I even doubt if the thought of such bruising and pounding ever leaves her memory because whenever you indulge in a slight misunderstanding,  she is tensed for the fear of you hitting her again and for the next few days or weeks or months, she will be emotionally unstable and that affects you too ----resulting in an emotional breakdown of intimacy between the both of you.

So it just  continues that way whenever there is a fight or quarrel and at some point you begin to get fed up of each other,and probably begin to want someone else you think is better than your wife or girlfriend.

However, she could be the perfect one for you; your missing rib, your better half! But your inability to control your anger and emotions would end up destroying a solid and loving marriage/relationship....and then end up living in regret for the rest of your life.

If  only you knew that emotional abuse leaves the deepest scars, you would wish you were never a part of domestic violence.
And if only you understand the gravity of the wrong your doing, am very sure you would call yourself to order .

Do you realise  that if that woman your hitting says a negative word to you at that point of  so much tears and a heavy heart... You may not survive it..no matter what the reason for hitting her was.

Off course the bruises heal, but on the inside you strip away her pride;her self worth! Her self respect!

MEN PLEASE STOP HITTING WOMEN!!!

STOP GIVING THEM MARKS AND BRUISES THAT NEVER  HEAL!
  

STOP MAKING THEM REGRET KNOWING YOU OR BEING WITH YOU!

STOP MAKING LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR THEM!

It's never too late to change. You can still make amends and become the best husband and father to your wife and children.
You can still be the best boyfriend to your girlfriend.

THIS IS HOW YOU NEED TO TRULY CHANGE:
 
First, accept the fact that you really want to stop domestic violence.

Secondly,  tell yourself that you really went too far in your actions; blame yourself for not being able to control your emotions as a man.

Thirdly,  tell yourself that you've deeply offended your wife and children or your girlfriend...let your conscience prick you...let it flog you bitterly.

Fourthly, get committed with God. Make amends with your God... Be in good relationship with Him.
Now listen!  This doesn't mean going to church every Sunday or attending every church activity from Monday -- Friday...No! No! No!
I mean constantly studying the word of God(the Bible). Be committed to reading the Word such that you understand every verse and believe in what it says...because that is the only way you can truly know God.

For it is only a man who fears the Lord that respects and values his wife!

Lastly, make a daily prayer point to change your ways.
Every day you kneel down to pray always say"God, I am very sorry for what I've done in the past and now I have chosen to be a changed person, So help me God!"
     
I promise  that you'll see how brand new you'll become in a few time.... To be a better husband and father to your wife and children

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WHY SPREAD THOSE LEGS ?

Some people say prostitution is a spiritual thing while others say it's out of frustration,poverty and greed or hereditary.
Well, I say ---prostitution is a thing of the mind! "I am a prostitute because I want to be! "

You know,the term"prostitution" has gone beyond  that level of standing on the road,waiting for one rich man to say"siiiii" and then you turn, bash into the car and off you go to bargain in the bedroom before some "touching body".

No!  No!  No! That style is outdated! 
Sleeping around from one man to another all in the name of relationship is "prostitution".
So to those of you who sleep from one man to  another all in the name of relationship or trying to find the right man.... You are also a prostitute!
There is no difference between those who stand on the road and you! Maybe the slight difference may just be "the standing thing"

A lot of girls have turned into  whores just because of this thing called"boyfriend and girlfriend".... some, because they are in need of money for upkeep and maintenance , and others for the fun of it!

FOR THOSE WHO PROSTITUTE ALL IN THE NAME OF BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND

A relationship is not bad off course,but trying to please your partner to your own disadvantage is bad! If I had my way, I would suggest to stay out of boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It's either you're courting for marriage or it's nothing else!

Be sure to make friends,have chykers around, laugh with them, visit them if you trust them enough and be good to them. Study each of them,especially the ones you feel something for...and when your ready to settle down,accept the one you think and feel is right for you,get into a few time relationship with him and get to know him better...then if your satisfied with him.. Go ahead and get married.

Trust me... It's easier to endure quarrels and fights in marriage than in relationships...that your  not even sure of where it's heading to.

However,its quite difficult having someone you truly feel something for around you and he feels the same way too but you can't have each other. It's really a hard one! 

But if you must go into a relationship with that person,you must first define that relationship depending on your partner's maturity in terms of behaviour, that is, (if it eventually leads to marriage).

You must not be of the habit of trying to please him for any reason whatsoever.

You shouldn't have to do things like...ending a good friendship with a friend because he says he doesn't like that person or washing his clothes and cooking for him when your obviously exhausted and needs to rest or having sex with him just because his in the mood and your not.

You shouldn't have to start making silly sacrifices that doesn't suit you such as giving him money because his broke and then trekking a long distance because you can no longer transport yourself or stop doing the things you enjoy doing because his not comfortable whenever you do them...that's bullshit!

You must be void of any form of pretense. You must be just yourself!  The relationship must allow you complete freedom to be who you truly are without restricting you in anyway.
So if your relationship with that man or woman is trying to change the real you,then you shouldn't waste any more time to opt out... Cos it's not for you!

Mind you -- there is a huge difference between influencing someone and changing someone.

Influencing someone comes with a positive feeling,in such a way that the other person doesn't feel cheated or used or a feeling of grudge. It has to flow naturally and the other person has to feel thankful for such. It should be something that even after you've gone your separate ways or indulge in a serious misunderstanding, the other person still remains thankful to you and still feels positive about what you did for him despite whatever went wrong.

On the hand, " CHANGING SOMEONE "  comes with a negative feeling such that the person feels his trying to please you or his doing something for you out of pity. It is usually not natural, and whenever there is a breakdown in the relationship or a slight quarrel or fight,the other person begins to feel regretful and wish he never did those things.

So your relationship shouldn't change you, rather, it should influence you.
There is no rule that says "sex must prevail in your relationship neither is there any rule that says you must have sex in every relationship"

So stop sleeping around from one man to another all in the name of "building relationships". You mustn't be in a relationship!!!

There are some people who are lucky with relationships and there are others who are not no matter how good they present themselves, they still end up  being dumped for just no reason.

Study yourself well and know where you belong and stop wasting your  precious body in relationships.

FOR THOSE WHO SLEEP AROUND BECAUSE THEY ARE IN NEED OF MONEY FOR UPKEEP AND MAINTENANCE

Have you ever thought of starting up a mini business and grow it up?

Have you ever thought of being independent;not having to ask anything from anybody?

Have you ever thought of feeding and helping others through your wealth?

Have you ever thought of being the reason why someone out there is living?

Have you ever thought of the self respect and honor those men who give you money to sleep with them will accord you when they realize you offer a service they can buy?

What about your family?  Have you ever thought of being the bread winner of your family;  Being the reason why your poor family is rich today?

A lot of you make not less than 20k per night and all you do is use the money to buy expensive handbags and shoes.
Why don't you take the firm courage today to stand out from the crowd.
Start up something no matter how small and be persistent in doing it and with time you'll be happy with yourself.

You can start up a baking business,soap making, yogurt production, selling of okirika clothes, mini importation,a small indomie cooking business...etc.  the above business cost just or less than  ten thousand naira to start up.
Engage your effort of having sex for 6hours everyday to something productive and see how amazing your life would be.

FOR THOSE WHO SLEEP AROUND FOR THE FUN OF IT

Have you ever imagined making fun out of your passion?  Making fun out of that thing you enjoy doing.
That's the best fun you can get!  It's the best thing that can ever happen to you.

Have you ever imagined being the best out of what you do?  Like being the best writer, hair dresser, fashion designer,singer,comedian,actress...etc.
MAKE FUN OUT OF YOUR PASSION TODAY,instead of making fun out of something unproductive;something that adds no value to who you are.

You would never realize how much damage you've caused yourself until the day that fun expires. 

It's not too late!  Nothing has spoilt!  You can still take that bold step to mend your ways and become a better you to your family, friends and those around you.

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